This morning, I was in bed, thinking of you and whether or not I should write to you. There’s so much I want to share, like my fun week or the delicious chicken fajitas I made last night. I could dive into every little detail, but I know that’s not what I am here for. Today, I want to write about what truly matters to me—how I allow myself to be myself, no matter what. I figure as you embark on your new week. These are the words I want to share with you.
Every day, I choose what brings me joy and happiness.
Of course, I still do everything I loved when I was little, from painting and shopping to eating ice cream. But to me now, it also means saying no to the people and things that do not align with my life. It’s a daily choice, and I prioritize what makes me feel good. If I want to lie on my bed and listen to music, I do that. If I want to meet a friend, I do that. If I feel like dancing, I dance. I no longer choose to live in survival mode or put up a performance but to genuinely enjoy my life moment by moment. I believe there is a life in which I love everything in it. I don’t have to let society and the world dictate my day or my life.
Every day, I choose what I allow in my life.
I stop reading the news or checking social media when I wake up. I don’t like allowing negativities from the outside world to affect how my day goes. I don’t believe everything I read and see online, so I don’t read everything. I know society wants us to live in a box and be trapped in the life they already curate for us to see, feel, and live. But the problem is, I don’t want to live in a box, and I’m also not interested in living the life someone else curates for me. I’m going to live my life the way I want to live. I have always been rebellious this way, but I love my way.
Every day, I stand up for myself and what I believe in.
I understand that people are not going to like it, but that’s okay. Do people like me is not the question, but do I like myself? Before, I would be afraid of expressing my own opinions to my boss, my family, or my friends. I wanted to keep my mouth shut at all costs. However, I no longer continue to do so. If saying what I believe in costs me to lose my job, then let be it. If saying what I believe in costs me to lose my friends, then let be it. If saying what I believe in costs my family no longer love me, then let be it. I stop letting the world dim my light. Standing up for myself and saying what is on my heart is nothing wrong, but the world makes me believe so. I believe people would understand me if they were meant to be for me.
Every day, I choose how others show up for me.
I don’t have to control other people, and I believe I don’t have the power to do so. But I do have the power to choose how others show up for me. I have very clear boundaries with myself. I started to say no to people who disrespect me, who are constantly late, who are controlling and judging, who are draining, complaining, and gossiping, who is their way or the highway, who always bring me down, who make me feel drained after meeting them, who do not share the same life values as I am, etc. You get the idea! Yes, I decided because my happiness depends on it. I would do what makes me comfortable, such as mute them, remove them, no longer keep in touch with them, etc. Again, you get the idea!
Every day, I choose how I can show up for myself.
In my book, this is one of the hardest things for me. But still, I do my best every single day to find a way I can show up for myself. It could be as simple as taking a shower, resting when I need to, calling my mom when I miss her, committing to my workout class, signing up for classes I want to learn, going for a walk, pampering myself up, putting on facemask when I have no desire to do anything else, making myself a home cook meal, baking, making my bed, taking my Duolingo lessons, and the list goes on. I try to do at least one thing to show up for myself every day, and it has been the greatest motivation for me.
I know that stopping living in the same circle again can be challenging, but I believe we can all do it. You deserve to live the life of your dreams. You deserve to create a wonderful life for yourself. Shut down all the bad voices in your head and stop letting the world show you how to live; instead, show the world how you live your life. You don’t need others to believe in you; you only need to believe in yourself, and the rest of the world can follow. Strike every day to be a leader, not a follower!!! Until then, have a good week for me.
All the love, JV.